Bob*: Eulogy for Mom

Let me begin by quoting an excerpt from an email I received from an old classmate, Lee Hope, upon hearing of Mom’s passing: “Losing one’s mom is unlike any other loss we have, and I think, you being the only boy, Bob, I know you held a special place in her life and loves … I spent considerable time remembering her, especially in those years when she was raising a family and busy contributing to her community in all kinds of ways. She and Mom shared their joys and sorrows of life in a friendship that lasted many years…”

Our mother was as sweet a person as you would ever wish to meet. One could not ask for a more loving, downright interested and dedicated mother. She loved baseball, curling and hockey and whatever book you were reading. Being a tiger on the roads, hers was the ride of choice for many of us traveling to sporting events in other towns before school buses. We always arrived first. She must have been fast, because according to our Dad she was never ready to leave on time for anything. She had to make sure the house was tidy in case anyone visited while she was away. That was our Yellow Rose of Texas.

Mom was a woman who lived her beliefs and never compromised them. She was respected by all who knew her for her commitment and dedication to God and the church. She always seemed to see the good in people and gave some of the most incredible reasons that might explain bad behavior in others. For many of those her prayers have since been answered and all is well.

For those who grew up in Spiritwood in the ‘40s and ‘50s, we were privileged to be raised by a wonderful group of neighborhood mothers: Mrs. Cook, Mrs. Hope, Mrs. Konsmo, and my second mom Mrs. Sidoruk, aong others. We didn’t need ‘neighborhood watch’ or marked safe houses. They were all safe houses and, of course, a place for a good lecture if it was required. In Spiritwood your deeds never went unnoticed and the word often beat you home. The end of an era indeed.

I know that at heaven’s gate there would have been the sounding of trumpets and the singing of angels as a dear one was welcomed home to join our father and the others. I can only pray that we will all be worthy of joining them when we too shall pass.

Rest in peace, dear one, and thank you for your love and prayers. They will be sorely missed.

*Lorrie and Bob were not able to come back from Australia for the funeral. But they were in Canada for a family wedding—in the rain!—in August.

Lorrie: Eulogy for second Mum

My name is Lorrie Bowes* and I am married to Robert.

I have said many times in the past that it has been a wonderful gift from God to have been a part of the Elmer and Madge Bowes family. And so as I write this my heart is filled with a mixture of  sorrow and joy.

Sorrow because I am saying goodbye to a lady who was my second Mum for 38 years. A lady who was so like my Mum with her strong belief in God and her  quiet Christian ways. After my Mum passed away I blamed God for many years but Madge, in her quiet, gentle and loving way, was able to help me heal and I came to realize that while I had lost one mother I had been blessed with a wonderful “second Mum.” She was always there when you needed her—whether it was to give you a hug or just listen to you talk—she would always make the time no matter what she was in the middle of doing or what time of the day or night you turned up. She listened and guided but never criticized although there were many times when I am sure she wanted to.

I loved her and I thank her for so lovingly including me in her wonderful family. I thank her also for being such a wonderful example of

“doing unto others as you would have them do unto you.”

So in spite of the sorrow, I also feel joy in knowing that she is at peace, but more importantly I am convinced that she has been welcomed with the words

“well done thou good and faithful servant.”

That is as good as it gets and that is no less than “our Mum” deserves.

*Lorrie and Bob were not able to come back from Australia for the funeral.

Sherry: Eulogy for Mom

Mom had a gift for seeing the good in everyone and truly loved each of us for the individuals we are. And if I were to describe my relationship with Mom, I would call her friend.

Friends are fun and people one likes to go on adventures with. Whether going on an adventure through one of Mom’s captivating stories or, ad Bob said, “venturing out with the tiger on wheels,” Mom was a fun companion. I had many adventures with Mom, but since I am limited to only one I will share this one with you.

One morning I woke up to discover that I’d slept in. Running down the stairs from my bedroom I hollered at mom, “I’m going to be late—could you please drive me?!” Looking up from her coffee cup Mom said, “Oh Sherry, I can’t, I’m still in my pajamas!” I pleaded, “Please Mom—I can’t be late this morning!” So, realizing my dilemma, Mom grabbed the car keys and, clad only in her housecoat and slippers—curlers in her hair, we hopped into the car and headed down the highway. We turned off the highway and were rapidly approaching the intersection beside the school when I began to be concerned at the speed with which we were approaching. I was thinking, “Sheesh, Mom, I know I’m late but shouldn’t we be slowing down?” Just then I noticed that even though Mom was madly pumping the brakes, we weren’t slowing down!  I also noticed a school bus lumbering along and about to collide with us should we keep going the same speed. Thus I yelled, “Goose it Mom!”

Mom tromped on the gas, sending us back into our seats like were were on some kind of circus ride, and as we cleared the intersection just in the nick of time, Mom’s next dilemma was how to get slowed down enough so as not to end up in the trees at the end of the street, for at that time the street beside the school was not yet a through-way. The only thing Mom could do was ‘peel donuts’—well ‘squeal donuts’ might be a better term—until we had lost enough momentum that we could finally coast to the edge of the street and park the car beside the school.

All of the ‘smokers’ used to gather at the end of the school facing the trees, since there were no houses there yet and huts, there was less chance of getting caught. As we pulled alongside the school I looked up to see a line of guys standing there, mouths agape, cigarettes in hand, looking dumbfounded at this spectacle before their eyes! Poor Mom stared wide-eyed ahead and as the reality of what had happened hit home I could read mom’s mind: “How in the world am I going to get home looking like this?” Just then a white knight appeared in the form of Bill Andres, a bus driver. Seizing the opportunity, immediately after Bill had dropped off his kids Mom jumped out of the car, ran to his bus and begged a ride home.

Friends are fun, and yet a true friend doesn’t always say what you want to hear—rather they say what you need to hear.

With the stresses of these past few weeks and as we stood and watched as our beloved Mom lay slipping away before our eyes, and with the reality closing in that she was, in fact, dying, it was difficult not to want to lash out at anyone who might be perceived as a threat to the little bit of strength she had left. In writing my portion of this eulogy, I was reminded of what she would have said to me had she seen my reaction to those around me in my panicked state of mind. She would have said, “Sherry, if I was not responding to those around me with kindness because of my state of being, my dad would say, ‘Madgy, Madgy! It’s not what you say, it’s how you say it!’”

I have learned so many, many good things about life and loving from my mother, and it should only seem fitting that on her dying bed she had taught me yet another lesson to be cherished, and that is, no matter what life brings—be it waking up late and having your day start off bad, or having a child rope you into doing something for them that you would rather not do, or finding yourself panicked because of ‘no brakes’—whatever the case may be, one can choose to act, and treat others with dignity and grace, even when one is facing something as monumental as death.

Linda: Mom’s Eulogy

Mom enjoyed so many things of a creative nature. She sewed for us, reupholstered our old furniture, made quilts and crocheted, could play the piano and guitar. One of my favourite childhood memories is of lying in my bed at night listening as mom played the piano and dad the violin or harmonica, singing around the piano. But of all the interests, talents and gifts mom possessed, there was none she enjoyed so much as having people over. She truly had the gift of hospitality and almost every Sunday after church, if we were home, she invited someone for dinner. Not lunch, but dinner with all the trimmings. Tea and coffee were always on.

My family certainly benefited from her generous nature and at one time ended up staying three months with them. This was not uncommon as others in the family had similar experiences. Someone said they had said to mom, “How can I ever repay you for all you’ve done?” Mom replied, “You won’t need to repay me. Just pass it on.”

And it was always fun at Mom and Dad’s. Mom and Dad shared a great sense of humor and a repartee that was so much fun to watch and listen to. Dad got such a kick out of mom and no one could bring a sparkle to mom’s eyes and make her laugh like dad could, right until the day he passed away.

Mom was like the family dispatcher, getting all of us, including Dad, ready to go somewhere, sending us off or taking us to one thing or another. I remember one time she came to Rosetown to babysit while Glenn and I went on a trip. One morning at about 8:30 Rick casually mentioned to Grandma that he needed 25 bags of popcorn for a school popcorn and candy sale that morning. I can just imagine Mom’s gasp as she realized she would never be able to get that done by 9:00. She sent them all off and delivered the popcorn to the school in time for the sale. Rick said her popcorn sold first. She asked him how he knew that, and he said because there were butter spots on the paper bags and so everyone knew it was buttered popcorn. She sure laughed about that.

Then there was the time Terry—or was it Tammy?—who always enjoyed Grandpa’s Sunday morning pancakes, said, “Grandpa, these are the best pancakes you ever made!” Grandma and Grandpa exchanged amused looks as Grandpa said with a chuckle, “Grandma made the pancakes this morning!”

Mom’s teaching, her wisdom, her love will always surround us. I would call her the Proverbs 31 woman: “Many women have done excellently, but you surpass them all. Her children rise up and call her blessed.”

new song: My Mother’s Day by Colleen

For my mother and her sisters, who said good-bye to their own mother just a few weeks ago. I love you all very much.

Madge’s 91st birthday

Madge’s 91st birthday party in Idyllwild Lodge. Linda, Madge, Martin & Betty are joined by two other Lodge residents.

Marilynn: Mom’s Eulogy

Mom was born on January 26, 1919 at Yoakum, Texas. She passed away on April 18, 2010 at the age of 91 at the Idyllwild Nursing Home in Spiritwood, SK.

Mom was the oldest of three children born to Ocie and Guernsey Cockrum who, along with an older half-sister, lived in Yoakum until the stock market crash of 1929 when they moved a few miles to a ranch near Fordtran, Texas.

In August 1934, Ocie and Guernsey and their children, Madge, Vernell and Euvon, prepared for the the greatest adventure of their lives: the move to a remote area of Saskatchewan where they planned to homestead. As they were preparing to leave, a change to the Homestead Act, which would require them to live in Saskatchewan for five years to qualify for a homestead, prompted Aunt Eula to write to them with the disappointing news, thinking they may decide to remain in Texas. I can picture Aunt Eula sitting at her large kitchen table in their log home, sadly writing a letter than may deny her the companionship of close relatives, doing so quickly, as she had to send her son off with the letter to catch the post. Quickly finishing off a letter, that no doubt contained news of the family and the area, Aunt Eula stuffed it into an envelope and watched as her son rode off on horseback to deliver the letter. As fate would have it, he was long gone when she noticed a page that had fallen under the table; the very page telling them the sad news about the new Homestead Act, so when the family received her letter, they were blissfully ignorant of the news that may have kept them in Texas.*

The family move took a week and was accomplished in a 1934 truck that Grampa had refurbished so that the family could not only carry their belongings but could sleep in it along the way. Their trip was a wonderful adventure in itself. They arrived in Makwa, Sask. in August and were fortunately able to purchase Hudson’s Bay land for $10 per acre close to relatives where, with the help of relatives and neighbours, they quickly built their own log home.

Mom was enthralled by the adventure of living in the remote county of Saskatchewan, and wholeheartedly embraced the winter and all that northern Saskatchewan had to offer, including a young gentleman named Elmer Bowes, whose family had moved to the Makwa area from Vanscoy, Sask after the drought of the late 1920s. As you can imagine, my beautiful mom and her beautiful sister were welcome additions to the social scene with their charming southern drawl. Uncle Euvon was too young to be part of that scene yet.

On October 9, 1937, Mom married Dad and they moved to a homestead near Makwa. The small farm did not provide sufficient income to meet the needs of a family, so Dad took a position with the Searle Grain Co. in Meadow Lake, embarking on a career as an elevator agent that would take them next to Bapaume, then to Spiritwood in 1947. In 1958 they purchased a General Store, then later a dry cleaning business. Spiritwood was to be their home for the rest of their lives and they were truly happy with their choice.

My sisters will add their part to the story of Mom’s life, but I want to comment on one of Mom’s values that had a strong impact on me. Mom had such an enquiring mind and was open to and fascinated by new scientific possibilities. And just imagine how many new life-changing discoveries she was witness to over her 91 years. With this love of learning Mom threw herself wholeheartedly into helping us with research for school projects and instilled a love for learning that has been one of her legacies to us all. She had no problem seeing the unfolding wonder of the world and universe as part of God’s design and her enquiring mind led her to graciously listen to and ponder on the spiritual views of others while not faltering from her own. I am thankful for that gracious legacy.

* After the funeral, Aunt Marilynn told me that she could picture Aunt Eula’s response to finding the missing page: very matter-of-factly saying, “Well, what will be will be.”

she whispered it to me

On the evening of Sunday, April 25th, Glenn and Linda got together with Martin and Betty for a game of Wizard. This had been something of a ritual for them over the past few years: gathering on many free evenings, especially Sundays, in Grandma’s room to play games. It was poignant to be with them on this first Sunday evening without Grandma. We laughed a lot over our friendly competition, and we teared up at the thought of Grandma’s absence. Here are some snippets from the evening’s conversation. ~ Colleen

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Linda: She really enjoyed having us around, talking and laughing.

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Martin: I was always teasing her about watching the sports games.

Glenn: I would go into her room and turn on the hockey game and say, ‘That’s what you wanted, wasn’t it Grandma?’

Martin: We were watching curling the other day and she wanted it left on!

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Martin: We never did get it settled who is the favourite son-in-law.

Glenn: (feigning disappointment) That is regretful.

Betty: She took the secret to her grave.

Glenn: I think she whispered it to me one day though. I just didn’t want to disappoint any of you!

Martin: She was always so diplomatic about it.

Glenn: She was diplomatic, wasn’t she? Everybody was always putting the pressure on her!

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Mama & Daddy loved each other

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LOVE SURVIVES by Betty (Bowes) Taylor

                            sung by Designer Genes. Listen here.

Daddy walked those country miles to see his blue-eyed blonde / The magic in her Texas smile had him spellbound / As Autumn leaves were falling, heart-to-heart they pledged / To cherish one another for always.

Mama and Daddy loved each other / Through the good and bad / When they started out together love was all they had / It wasn’t always easy, this melding of two lives / But because of their commitment love survives

Courtship days were spent in spinning dreams that seemed so real / But reality put wrinkles in that fabric of ideals / Many times they’d lay it down and dampen it with tears / Then with the warmth of love they’d iron it out

Mama and Daddy loved each other / Through the good and bad / When they started out together love was all they had / It wasn’t always easy, this melding of two lives / But because of their commitment love survives

Whatever comes, I’ll stand by you, ‘cause I have seen love work / It melts icy feelings, cools off heated words / Warms the heart with tenderness, and binds us up as one / This kind of love will always see us through

Our love will go the distance though the dusty road is long / May our children and their children sing this song:

Mama and Daddy loved each other / Through the good and bad / When they started out together love was all they had / It wasn’t always easy, this melding of two lives / But because of their commitment love survives

Madge’s 85th birthday

 

With her namesake, Madge Cockrum.

Madge and her children, August 2009

In August 2009, Dustin Olson & his bride Sabrina gave us all an excuse to gather and celebrate. Also in this picture: Dustin’s mom Sherry.

All of Madge’s children were able to be there, including Bob and his wife Lorrie, all the way from Australia via Costa Rica.

We miss you so much, Uncle Bob & Auntie Lo!

 

Front: Bob, Madge, Marilynn. Back: Sherry, Linda, Betty.

 

The wedding ceremony was on the lawn—in the pouring rain!—at the Inn on the 10th. Madge’s daughter Betty Taylor & her husband Martin brought Madge in Idyllwild Lodge’s Handi Bus.

Everyone came to say hi.

Betty took some great photos from her (dry!) vantage point in the bus.

 

Later at the reception, Madge was bright and cheerful as she visited with her children, grandchildren, and friends.

 

Madge and her daughters, January 2009

Madge has always been known to her family as “The Yellow Rose of Texas.” The videos posted  at the top left will give you a taste of one of our most nostalgic songs …

Obituary: Veda Stephens (nee Cockrum)

The Victoria Advocate - May 26, 1980, p. 12A